Tonight I begin my expose on the life of a bachelor. Over the next couple days I will report on the happenings in my life sans-wife. Don’t worry; she’s only on a business trip. She’ll be back by the week’s end, but until then I’m a bachelor… without the actually being single part.

To be true to form, I am currently writing this post from my apartment where I am sitting in my underwear drinking a “special” beverage. Now that I have the setting established, I can begin with a recap of my first evening alone.

After work, I kicked off the evening with a fine meal purchased at Tommy’s, the hamburger chain made famous by their chili-cheese burgers. It being Tommy’s 60th anniversary today, I was able to purchase a burger for 60 cents. Not too bad for my first bachelor outing. You see, a bachelor cares not what he ingests, as long as it in no way resembles anything from the vegetable group. Additionally, a bachelor thoroughly enjoys any meal that can be purchased for under a dollar.

My next stop for the evening was the couch in front of my TV. There I drifted in and out of consciences, until I was woken by the ringing phone. No one was on the other end when I answered so I attempted to rejoin my program. After a few confusing moments I realized that I wasn’t going to catch back up so I began thinking about what it was I was going to do with the remainder of my evening. It was then that the phone rang again. This time it was my wife, calling the far-away land of Texas. I realize that bachelors don’t usually have wives to call them; in fact, they usually don’t have wives at all, as a general rule, but that wasn’t something I cared to get into over the phone. After all, I’m only a temporary bachelor and I’d like to keep it that way. So, we’ll just pretend that I didn’t mention the wife’s call.

Skipping ahead, I decided that I needed to hit the store for some bachelor feeding necessities. So, I hopped into my sweet ride and cruised the strip (Lankershim), windows down, and music blaring. Once I reached my destination I procured the following items: beer, bagels, bread, eggs, chocolate pudding, peanut butter, coke, rice-a-roni, cheese, and some spaghetti sauce. I’ll have to get some meat on another trip.

After my little outing I came back home, turned on the computer, and that pretty much brings us up to the present. Not a bad evening if I do say so myself.